Father’s Day self-portrait

Being a father has helped me become a much better person. For this, I want to thank my children.

It was only after the birth of my first son 24 years ago that I learned patience. When my second son entered the world four years later, I enhanced my multi-tasking skills so that each of my boys could feel how important they were to me.

Through raising my two sons, I’ve been reacquainted with appreciating the simple pleasures of life, like waiting for fish to bite a worm on a hook. I’ve experienced joys and other feelings I nearly forget about after growing up.

Fatherhood has taught me the nuances of baseball and soccer that can be passed on to young children, and how much fun it can be to get soaking wet running around a field with them. I’ve learned every rule of soccer, a knowledge that has enabled me to appreciate a match at any level more than ever.

By being a dad, I’ve learned to appreciate different kinds of music, be it jazz or classical or pop. I’ve learned how important a drummer is to the sound of a small band or big ensemble. I’ve even learned what it takes to pack, assemble and break down a drum set.

Being a father has enabled me to appreciate the value of trying different things, like wrestling or playing lacrosse, acoustic or bass guitar, blackjack, or performing in a school musical. I’ve also learned that it’s fine to move on from one activity to another after giving it an honest try, even after a significant investment in equipment or time.

I've learned to be less selfish by being a father because, when I looked around, I realized I was not the center of my universe. There were children who needed my time, my attention, my energy, and whatever else I could willingly share with them, day after day, in blocks of hours or, at least, minutes.

I’ve become less materialistic by being a father and seeing my children borrow my clothes and cars. I’ve learned that I actually own nothing in life. I’m merely in temporary possession of various items, a very liberating feeling, as is the knowledge that money has little value if you don’t have loved ones to share it with.

Love? I’ve felt a fuller, more meaningful sense of love by being a father, be it by changing a diaper, sitting through a late game or performance on a weeknight, providing comfort while watching a doctor stitch a cut, listening and providing support as a hope is born or vanishes...or, more often than not, simply by being in the same room with them.

More than anything, I’ve wanted to help my children in life by being a good father to them. I had no idea, however, that being a father would be so helpful in my own life. For this, I will always remain grateful to my children.



(photo) Kevin, Charley and Steven on Memorial Day weekend 2011