Most men are not very articulate when it comes to sharing details about a spouse’s health issue or expressing their affection for their partner. But, at the Meadowlands parking lot before last Sunday’s New York Jets football game, a friend of mine couldn’t be any clearer about his wife’s breast cancer or his love for her.
He went into detail about how her cancer was discovered and the surgery that followed. He explained the decision to undergo daily radiation therapy and forego chemotherapy. With some pride, he also pointed out the detailed log she kept of her ordeal and how impressed her doctor was for information that enabled them to chart the best course forward. He also described her subsequent feelings of fatigue and discomfort and insecurity.
“She was crying almost every day,” he told me. “There is no history of this in her family. Her doctor explained that it was probably nothing genetic, and it was not likely to have been caused by anything she did. It could’ve been caused by anything. We’ll never know.
“Sometimes she wonders, ‘why me?’” But, why not? It’s not something that happens just to other people. It could happen to anybody.”
He paused, puffed on his cigarette, and reflected on their lives together.
“We’ve been together for 33 years. This week is our 30th anniversary. When she gets really down, and wonders about my feelings, I tell her, ‘you’re the only woman for me until the day I die.’”
Although he is a Jets season ticketholder, this was the only game he planned to attend this year. He wanted to be with his friends and check out the New Meadowlands Stadium, but his mind and heart are with his wife only. By the time I returned home after the game, so were mine.
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